How I came to find GorThe following is how I came to find Gor, some of it isn't very pretty, but it is what it is. Since then, I have grown quite a bit, at least I like to think...smiles.
My love for the Gorean philosophy has been nurtured by others and myself. How I came to find Gor is actually quite funny. I love Harry Potter, and I went searching for fan fiction to supplement my time in between books in the summer of '04. I came across a particular "ship" as it is called, Snape and Hermione, and I began to read some interesting stories that spoke to a part of my soul. They spoke of BDSM and of M/s, and that part inside me that I shoved down as being inappropriate, saw that there were others like me out there. Not just ones who thought of it, but actually spoke of it! The part I had shoved down was elated and aroused by the stories that I read and thus, one day, I went to the yahoo chat rooms to look and see if there were others out there like me that I could speak with.
I came across BDSM rooms and I began to wander around, all the while keeping it hidden from my now, ex. Here I found that I could be liberated and show the submissive woman in me without fear of society looking down upon me. I approached my partner about it (I say partner because she is a woman), about BDSM and spoke again to her of some of my fantasies. I had brought up little things in the past, but I started to really reach out and share some of the stories I had read with her. We ended up joining a local BDSM group and my door was now open and I couldn't go back. One day, curiosity about these user created rooms that were listed as "Gor" caused me to pop in and what I found was a world of beauty and harshness rolled into one. Of course I knew nothing of it and quickly found out just how harsh it can be by saying "Sir" in front of the wrong Master. I was told to leave and that is putting it kindly, chuckles. I went into another room, one labeled for learning and there I found a Master and slave that began to teach me of the "online Gorism's". I studied and practiced serves. I was drawn so deeply to wanting to be found pleasing that I could hardly think of anything else. Before I go further, I am not proud of the things I am about to list, but this was my perception of what happened and what I was thinking and feeling at the time. I have since come to understand that I fucked up majorly in soooooo many ways. My partner, saw me begging men in a room and flipped out. I tried to explain that it was just a formality and that I really enjoyed it and showed her some of my serves. She wouldn't budge and I couldn't believe it was going to be ripped from me. The Master to who had been helping me talked to her and told her that I really had promise as my drive to learn was extraordinary. She still held firm, so he suggested I become a Free online since she didn't want me to beg that way I could still learn and apply it to our relationship. She found that to be acceptable, and so I became a Free online, but a submissive at home to her. I found a place for me and I found a few that I became friends with, and also a Master that I began to find intriguing. He would get on me about coddling slaves, and so I revealed to him in pm that I was not Free at home as I saw it at the time. He was not shocked and thus, treated me as a "slave" in pm after I explained the situation at home to him. Then one day, he grabbed my hair in pm and my body responded in a fashion that I couldn't understand at the time, but was elated to feel. He would speak to me one way when she was around, and then another when I was alone. We began to have an "online affair". He would order me to do things and I would gladly comply. He touched my offline life by having me do certain things like placing a post it on my computer saying "It's not about me", and told me what I could and couldn't drink. I had an online affair with this man for about a month before I told my partner that I wanted a separation. She had feared Gor would take me from her and has since told me that she knew it would because of my past with men. 
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